Ngerichau Munyi Semalau Pagi...

Sekumbang pendiau ti udah mawa baka semawa rindang petang; terua rua anak ampang, naka meh pemayuh akal masuk kerubung pala ti di kumbai mensia anak urang alai nanam buk panjai bejagang tuchang. Bisi meh ati ngesal tang sik lah hal laban ngesal dudi sigi nadai reti; bisi mega berasai malu tang nama deh dikemaluka..ukai ulih lalaika ba tisi mua ti jai baka memuri tebelenang; ukai besai beledi penimba ai masu belakang alai belalai; ukai ulih namaka diri tama empajang gentung tibang deh wai! Nadai ngawa laban utai udah..Nya lapa deh! Tajapan bakanya asai enda nyamai, kami anak sekula maya tu kelia udah nemu tuju juluk ati laban ti udah bebulu memagang enti ditela dipeda geganjang!

Ahh nama jelu benatang ti dikumbai kita STPM tu bah? Hesss tak mayuh macham mega menteri upis pelajar menua numbuhka utai bakatu. Amai mayuh penumbuh sida ti megai pengawa dia; mayuh penemu nembiak di perinsa betukar bela. Parai kami nembiak ikak ngelekak chechukak lelanggak gegaring reranggak ngenang pengada jelu baru menua Melayu ti benama STPM tu. Nyau betuntung nesau begusung sida begau madahka bisi sabjek baru tu tadi ti benama Sastera! Nama meh utai nya laban kelia, ku kami, tu meh Litaricha(literature) bala sida hehehe R&J--> ehhh ukai insap Winston R&J Reynolds deh tu tang Romeo & Juliet, bala sida Julius Ceasar....Akai dai bakani meh sastera tu hmmm kada enda bebachaka ensera Enkeratung Ayam Raja sida Keling lau mua, sida damu bebulu burit, sida apai saloi enggau apai se-umang umang sida enchelegit tu ila yehhhhhaaaa!! Joke aside folks, this new thingy wasn't something we prepared for since our inception, since our sixth form initiation! New field, new ball, new game and of course new name in STPM! Bahlah..terima kasih was all that could be said laban mayuh, naka pemayuh bala kami ti agi beterangap thus pengerabang ngeli jarang enda meh ulih pelalaika. Ku bala sekeda meh tu meh Sijil Tinggi Pendiau Malaysia lalu sekeda bala tu suba ngumbai tu Sijil Telu Penyu Malaysia; however, we at Tanjung Lobang bisi mega jaku siti ti naka dikena bala..ku kami tu meh Sijil Tai Pau Malaysia since 'tai pau' was second to our mother tongue ba Tanjung Lobang...widely spoken! Then there was this cikgu ti ngumbai STPM tu Sijil Tidak Pandai Malaysia mega. Whatever it was, it is, and it will be..kami ti bebitau bekedayau mawa pendiau tu unfazed deh laban nemu penentu iya endang either or. Pas enggau pil enda meh dikira laban we were guineapigs ready to be sacrificed and prepared to be slaughtered! Aki gerubi enggau kaban iya dua iku ti udah di buai tu enda ngira utai bukai deh, ngatika diri laban tu meh peluang, siti peluang sekali diberi alai mutar nikalka pendiau diri ti dikumbai jai enda anchi anchi.

Enda mukai mukai mega maya bala kami ti kiruh ngerunding nyendiaka diri bakatu, berita angin ti bisi udah di perasai nyepu ari tingkah ai sungai besai Tanjung Lobang nyadi pengamai. We all thought so lah! Amai meh tuansipol Adi Badiozaman Tuah tu betukar menua tempat kerja ehhh. Tang Cikgu sebedau aku ngemanjaika berita tu, aku dulu madahka nuan laban enggai enda nerangka tu dulu...You were dead wrong ngumbai aku or the other ngupi signature nuan lalu ngelekatka nya ba papan pemadah nembiak ba jalai besai beratap nya. I didn't do it; neither did he although we had the artistic ability to forge it! Ulih nuan nanya Cikgu Naimuddin our batik teacher yang disayangi ..tried tried we with wax on kain belachu putih berseri besinar tengahari under that little pondok semak coconut tree!Yea yea yea I know who did it and what else didn't this big mouth, a social pest, a menace to society, a harmony-hazard little lachau rock lizard know!!!! He's right there now..next to you deh Cikgu selalu betemu seduai you hahaha meh jangka aku. Anyway, nothing against you Cikgu.. wish you luck bekerja ba tempat baru. Ya ya take that crown ari Putit nya; however, no clown clown around just because the two of you were acquaintances?!? Your time to step up to the plate ya. Proud of you laban you were more than deserving deh cikgu although we disagreed on several things few times too many. Di Kuching ila betemu baru ga kitai enda pia ku aku. Tu ukai utai di tengkilaka kami ari kelia deh. Kami udah nemu tuju that one day you would be big shot as a State Director of Education and beyond. I said it all along since 1981 Cikgu. Hope this incoming tuansipol can get a grip on things lah. NOT!!!!!!!Engka tu meh peluang kami ti benung tasah engkachah tu dipasukka buding baru. Dream on buddy. We shall see.

Tasah.......

Duduk rerungguk datas engkerarin rumah perintah ngenang diri tasah laban penyalah merening galun umbak tasik laut china selatan. Malik ke kulu nyau ayan ga perabung rumah panjai bala sida Polis DiRaja; malik kili nyau berupai panjai ga kemayang pasir tebing tasik Brighton. Engka ditu meh alai kami tiga sekaban tu ila ngapuska taun nyadi anak sekula Tanjung Lobang. Nasit bala nemu beguringka ikan masin gunjing tengkering kangking keru kerigai. Benasitka bala nemu berebuska telu segala bujur kerubung. Enti enda pia, sigi lapar tau lepi mali bediri duduk besugang deh. Ahhhh nadai ngachau nya deh kaban maggee mee betabas kari sigi mayuh deh! Tu meh gaya bala baru udah netapka diri dibaruh atap perintah alai ngendap. Benasit mega laban bekelala enggau Jimmy, siku urang tuai ti mentah, ngembuan penyiru enggau penyayau ke kami tiga ti tasah nadai alai ngenduh maya panas ujan; nadai panggau endur betunjan. Nyema ka semak Sri Aman nadai meh beleman.

Tumu pagi nyau meh kami tiga bedarat niki bukit enchugit jegit git ngelaban. Deka ngular ngelantar baka ripung belelak gelung kenyang, tak bedau ga bala kami kenyang bidik tau bekerja makai gaji baka urang. Enggai enda, lelak leliga, buntau empeliau pan mansang meh kami nurun ngerumban jam deka enggau kaban serambau bukai masuk ke kelas. Ahhh bisi ga maya 'udah terima' tu suba deh nepan bas laban mai buku lali ti udah besul mengkul besigung; mai pala patung ti udah kembai ngelaung laban ti 'ku jaku' ngarika sekula kin kitu betanding enggau urang. Pulai tengahari pan bakanya mega..ahhh kadang kadang enda mulai kediri bala laban ti nganti udah belatih peritis ngelelak tulang. Aki Gerubi, ka pan enda, laban ti udah sah di serah tau kumbai suah enda makai deh. Benasitka bala sekelas ti nemu kasih, sinu meda pendiau meh bala kami sebuat dipeda enda pungkang enda kurang. Yeap buddy, I still remember many of you willingly, without giving it a second thought, nyuaka handouts..Karulin, Jackie, Mary, Cindy, Stephen, Ngau to mention a few ..thank you for seringgit here dua ringgit there kena berundang kasang maya timpang pulai lemai nuju Brighton. Benasit meh aki Gerubi laban ti bisi Ruby nyadi kaki enggau jari, nyingkang kitu japai kia maya tu kelia. Nemu ga tudah datai ngusung nungkunka dapur bala kami. The rest is history, mere history remains to this very day how horrendous life could be.

An utter mess??? No lah, the beauty and deformity of being Aki Gerubi aja nya. Tang meh kami tiga naka pengaga laban bala bukai ti 'dibuai' udah diterima masuk buding kali ke berapa? Enda ingat laban untak udah tuai. Bisi meh kami tiga ngapil but to no avail. Endang bisi nyelai ga deh tudah pengetua...diau diri baka ti bisi utai??? Nama utai Cikgu? To say you gave a hoot would be a total lie..and if I lie, I wouldn't be lying to nobody but my lonesome self. Akai dai neh cikgu cikgi..enda nyalah nyalah baka lemetak bala kami neh..dibuai enda meh lari tak lekat ba kaki belama! Nya meh baka kesa nepan daun; baka kara nepan pun! Don't you worry... five or so odd months you guys have to put up with us, with me. Only then I chabut lari no more scarface to see lah until the next century! Till then, shut up and put up! We ain't goin' nowhere..up under the skin and skirts of course hehehe. Life went on. We all knew cikgu cikgi were there to teach, to progress, to climb the ladder, move up in the world, to take care of the family, to have 'golden' smile, to grow some misai and to move on..with all the blessing..enda pia? Were we the dying breed? Hell no! Aki Gerubi suspected many many more, more than a handful, who would be no less and perhaps more but who 'were' we to know?

Pendiau Nadai Sarang......

Junuk junuk baka imbuk rajai patuk meh kami sebala ti udah di buai ari langkau rumah panjai anak sekula bejalai niti rangkang, bejalai ngejang meh empuna punai ngelayang terebai nadai sarang. Udah nasit udah selatan penyalah penimpang ukai enggi urang. Enda ransi mali kudi tang begedika diri laban ti nyelai ragak riang. Patut di rumah dititah gelar temuai mansa pala tangga engkerutak tanah laban mulut ti balat kimut kimut mata melut dilah bechabang. "Where are you staying huh?" Ku bala sida endu kumang ati penyayang, ku bala sida lulung batu nakung lichin menandang, ku bala sida igat empanyat nyumbuh bujang, ku sida wat kedumbat raja tebilang. "Enda nemu meh tu lagi..ahh deka pan diau enggau bala kaban belayan ti udah diau mendam enggai ga nyadi laban bala tak udah ngentak beranak bebuah pinang..dini alai ngelalaika mua enda malu bekuyu timpang ngeli ga rabang??..meda baka meh," ku tudah aki gerubi beseriri ngenang. "Ahhh kelak ko stay ngan aku kat Merpati," ku jaku tundi tudah wai pangan endu Jackie Ajang mai bala chapuh nyau bepuruh mua begumpal dada ketawa baka ti menawa. "Nama upah deh," ku aki gerubi ngelampat nanya hahahahhaa. Tu meh mula mula aku meratika mua bala ti mantaika pengasih penyayau sida iya ke kami tajapan sida iya enda bemunyi nyelaik ngelali.

Tu endang amai pedis ila ku kenang dalam ati laban nadai perabung ulih nudung; nadai tikung alai nukung; nadai pandung alai engkutung. Aki Gerubi enggau kaban siku ditambah Pok Stanley ari Upper Sixth A Three ahhh dehh tak belalai sebelah nya apa peduli ku kenang dalam ati. Tudah Pok Stanley bisi selit kerupit surat saspindit(suspended) laban ulih ngapil udah timpuh ngelebuh bebuai keruh. Sida bukai pan bakanya mega tang enggi aki Gerubi, Bapak, enggau King Kawi aduhhhh ahhh convicted for life! Amai amai unwanted elements meh kami udah tu dehhh. Akai daiii ukai besai beledi alai ngelalaika mua! No worry lah udah nasit kami. See ya here, there, and everywhere we might be lah tang meh aki Gerubi mengkang rinduka GP enggau World History. "Let's not worry but study study we laban peresa deka datai tiga bulan purnama besilih ganti enti ngitung ari May 1983!

Enti ngeletak maya anak mensia berundingka pejalai serta pendiau diri siku siku dudi hari, tu meh pun belabuh bauh pilak kerembai bungai peransang. Ari pemedis enggau pemerinsa ketegal ulah diri empu; ari pengawa menawa di gaga diri empu. Tu meh utai ti dikumbai urang putih raja ribai beperintik kulit beluai, 'To Make or To Break' . Teresa kelansa pendiau dibuai bakatu nothing new to aki Gerubi but for the rest enda meh aku nemu laban ti nadai mansik nyidi enggau silik. Kasih meh tudah indai laban ketegal pengawa digaga sida bukai ti nanggung nyan ngesan pemedis enggau pemerinsa. Sida bukai pan bakanya mega, apai indai kaban belayan ti pedis laban bala kami ti agi mekang kang tesungkur besugang alang alang baru nyumbuk bebungai lalang. Ahhh bendar meh bala kami belalai ngiga asai laban bedau bulih tempat alai neduhka diri; bedau tetemuka tulang perabung beratap mulung alai ngelarika diri ari leka ujan nyala nyuruh pedera, ari kemayang bintang nyuruh siga, ari panchar panas nyuruh lela. Mandi muai daki pan nyau ligau ligau ngiga danau baka jelu rangkai musin kemarau. Asss apaii..aram kitai nyemerai ba tangki Cendrawasih, Rajawali enggau Kenari!!! Hesss enda ngenusahka bala nembiak bukai? "Hey you, all these places aren't for you! off limit. I don't want you to get caught again," ku siku Cikgu. Nemu nya kasih, nemu nya enda peduli, nemu nya indifferent laban ti udah makai gaji..enda nemu!! Ari semua, semina bilik alai belajar aja ti ulih gusung bala. Sigi ga merinsa the first few days. Deka ngusung ngenduhka diri ba kaban belayan ahhh ngenusah urang aja, dini alai ngelalaika mua? Nyamai baka apek bayat for the next few days...something good will come.

Tang meh bala kami benasit laban ti ampit begulai bemain sipak raga lalu bekelala enggau siku anak mensia ari Luak ti bekerja enggau Marine Department. "Ko orang, mun mok lah, boleh diam kat rumah aku sinun...kosong rumah ya..aku sik jua diam sia," ku tudah kaban. Aduhhh Man, terima kasih ya. Immie, we owe you one.

Kanjung Pun Pengujung

Penyinu serta pengasih aku nyau besuar ngelantar nuju bala nembiak bukai ti enda kala ngereja penyalah laban pengawa ti udah nyadi satu haribulan April tu tadi nyau nyuruh pengawa sida iya tebunsa linga linga tang aku siku ari kami segantang mata enda minta ampun jari rapit betusun. Ngampun pan nadai meh guna laban pengawa udah dikerja pengidup nyingkang mansang ke mua belama. Ahhh kitai ga anak sekula endang sigi ga gaya:- makai tinduk, belajar bemain, betundi begagai ngambat lemai, hari beganti hari kitai nganti peresa penudi ohhh ha bisi meh bala anak dipilih induk upis pelajar tu ila nyadi menteri pengujung jalai dudi hari.

Enda mukai mukai meh nasit aki gerubi tak nadai di sangka limpang ke kiba ngerembang repa madang lemba. Udah nasit udah selatan anak ampang timpang patah tandan tingkar dan meh tu deh sanu wai menawan. Pengawa digaga enda mega nyelai ari nembiak anak pelajar bukai ti bisi besengki siku tulang penyambung; ransi kudi puas betundi belaya pengujung. Pengawa tu birit irit ari pun taun deh Cikgu Cikgi enggaika kita ti bisi macha karang leman berita enda nemu buta ngelaung. Ingat kita maya kami digusung 'outsiders' empat iku ari Lutong meri kami lampu mirah rah rah ngumbai penyamun? Diriput kami enda ga kita ngeleda dani berani ati ngumbai penemu runding ketapu lindak besegi enggi kita ngena berari! Tu meh pengujung pengawa ti tau nyadi laban kami sigi enda nelentangka diri ngambu ngaku alah lembau enggai bejamah betachah. Ahhh pama mega bala anak Iban neh nyau be ila asai udah muka kuntau ala bebiau bejari nyengkau. Aku, aki gerubi, deh cikgu Adi ukai ngesah datai deka nyamah deka nachah. Aku tu semina mantu deka nyerara engka icha utai tak ulih di kemaduka ngambika enda berintai enda panjai semina mati padam lemai aja. Ngesah meh aku laban tedingaka berita bala nyau bebantai ka bungai tujuhbelah ngerembai jari deka datai. Tinggal meh endu sanu enda lama deh.
Wait a minute..aki gerubi deka nyekat Pok enggau Bapa..ahh baka pelanduk nundukka gajah enggau badak nya cikgu. Laban pelanduk ti mit kelikit mesai tinga antu raya, pelanduk nya meh deka dikeremuk, but I had a better idea with my screwdriver. Salah aku cikgu laban enti nitihka enda patut meh aku dia..din aku ahhh ba tebing tasik berumin muai peluh.

Lo and behold, tu meh terubah kali aku dikumbai Cikgu Cikgi 'Ring Leader' baka tuai Gangstar! Huh nadai meh nemu diri bisi ngembuan penau nyadi tuai ngelambai tau serang deh; however, I ain't Archilles and she ain't Helen of Troy... and if I have to fight ..doggone it bygolly I will for I ain't takin' no shit from nobody....tu meh penyalah kitai agi muda, agi bau lia laban ti enggai ngalahka diri! Akai dai...ka pan enda engkakai enda nyamai munyi sanggai. Cikgu cikgi semua, I must admit I was vocal by birth and nobody, not then, not now, not ever.. can anybody take that away from me but I was not the ring leader. Hahahha my old buddy Will Poole used to say hahahaha "I was just trying to help and to contribute." Ngemandakka cherita, lima iku meh kami sebuat dikangauka tuansipol Adi enggau sapit kanan iya Siti plus one or two more wardens..enda ingat the exact figures actually tang agi ingat upis tuansipol nyau penuh..nyau besapit bau saum siku baka sadin dalam tin temaga! Bala kami pan lalu dipinta nerangka tuju enggau pengawa diri ti udah dikereja. Ngarika bala ti bisi dikangau, yes sirreeeee they were honest..they had nothing to hide to the best of my knowledge. Haiya...nama agi dipinta kita deh? Cherita gaga cherita tempa? Nama nya tak ngumbai kami sebuat bula pia? Ransi kudi, ringat melanjat pan kami nadai meh guna laban nasit kami kita nentuka neh Cikgu cikgi..you knew best..students were just as stupid as dumbasses enda pia?

Ahhh enti enda bakanya bangat nadai pengawa ga kerani sekula. Tu pama ga bisi ngelatih diri nulis serta betaipka surat nuju apai indai, induk upis pelajar menua enggau nengeri, et cetera et cetera neh. Pemutus atur chara enggau aum pengajar..." As for your punishment bla bla bla...you are hereby suspended from your respective dormitories indefinitely..bla bla bla," ku sambung tuansipol ti penudi sekali.